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Emotional Honesty

Posted in My path with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 10, 2009 by freedomofnow

Another week has gone by, filled with connected moments. Some days ago my mother called me to see how I was doing, and I told her I had become a spontaneous vegetarian and that my body can barely handle anything since the 29th. She immediately said “But your body needs protein!” and I immediately felt this wave of resistance come up. After we hung up I immediately closed my laptop and decided to really feel what had come. I sat still and felt anger come, then a fear also reported itself to my awareness. I just sat still with my eyes closed and watched it. I felt my “I AM” presence tickle my arms and legs as it embraced my entire body, the feelings closely held inside the awareness that I AM. I let the feeling play out, and suddenly I realized that I was afraid to lose my mothers’ love. I looked at this fear, and at the same time I felt my “I AM” presence around it, and after some time the fear melted into this “I AM” and became that. I sat still and felt a bliss beyond words, profound peace in my entire being. I realized that this is what it means to go through emotions. This is a so-called release. Allowing yourself to fully experience the feelings that come up, listen to what they say, and then they will go and leave you in peace.

Then on wednesday it was time for satsang with Ingerid, but instead we spent the day just hanging out. Ingerid’s other daughter, her man and their newborn came over so we were just enjoying eachothers’ company through the day. That didn’t stop the feelings from coming, though, and while I was talking to Ingerid this anger reported itself. I observed it and felt it like I had been the past days and suddenly in the middle of the aches and pains that came with it passing through me a core of comfort came up. I told Ingerid what I felt and she nodded and explained that I had used anger as protection. I had thought that it had kept me safe for all these years. It was so true. I embraced and met the feeling with love and then the fountain of anger seemed to intensify somewhat. Even though I still felt very present it just kept going and going, like an upside down waterfall running through me.

We stayed till late that night and watched the movie “Pretty Woman” and then John drove me home. As we went out I saw the waning crescent moon shining its golden light through light clouds right next to a mountain top. I told John that I had always felt fascinated with the moon. He started explaining the symbolics behind the moon, and it was suddenly very clear why. The moon pushes and pulls the magnetic fields of the earth, thereby affecting our life here on the planet. This is symbolic to the fascination I have had with drama throughout this journey. It is possible to appreciate its beauty without being controlled by it. As we were talking our trip took us to a gas station to get some stuff for Ingerid, and as we were waiting for the clerk to get the items for us I looked down and saw a norwegian 1,- krone lying on the ground. I picked it up and saw 3 crowns with 3 5s under them. As I showed it to John, he told me that it signifies a moment of freedom. I was being reminded of my true nature through everything around me.

As we were driving out to Marens place to get some stuff the conversation went to the issue of my anger and the relationship between me and Maren. Maren had been a mirror for my anger for almost as long as I had known her, and various examples of my cat having pissed in in both my bed and hers were screaming symbolism to attest that. As I had been very much an effect of the circumstances around me and thus in a reactive state earlier it was very easy to put the blame outwards, and as John was asking me questions to narrow down my motives I recognized a panic well up. John picked this up immediately and said that the more uncomfortable it is to talk about something the closer to the truth you are. I knew that discomfort was my best friend at this point because it means my ego is squirming, and so we kept digging deeper. Eventually I realized that I had been going against myself to try to lull down the reaction from Maren. To lessen the anger. Suddenly we saw a deer through the mist of the night, and not just one, an entire family was out running on the road in the same direction as we were going. I noticed 7 of them. They jumped across the road one by one, but the last kept running back out on the street until we eventually passed them. This immediately struck me as significant, and John agreed. So he asked me what they were, but I was making things too complicated to see the simplicity of it. They were innocent. They showed me that despite what I may think, I am innocent and pure. The same as the symbolism with Mary Magdalene the week before.

What had happened on the way home with John, both the conversation and the symbolism, had had a very profound impact on me, so when I got home I went to bed right away. I allowed all my anger to arise while still feeling my “I AM” presence. Ingerids words echoed “You still haven’t forgiven, or the anger wouldn’t keep coming back.” I had felt something shift today, so I took my time and thanked the anger for the experiences it had given me through my life, and now I didn’t need it anymore. I was ready to stand on my own two feet completely.

That night I dreamed that I was driving my friend to school in my car, and it was a school where everyone carried guns. We met a short, skinny blonde kid with a machine gun who was really angry. He was also very triggerhappy, so he started to shoot after me. He hit me a couple of times in my upper body, just missing vital organs like lungs and heart, and he hit me once in the left part of my head. I walked up to the guy, and suddenly I had diced red peppers in my hands. I held my hands around his head and squeezed them together, and this white golden light golden light started to pour from between my hands all over him. He looked perplexed and his gun-arm twitched and I twitched along with him to avoid coming bullets, but he relaxed as fast as he had twitched, and I never let my hands waver. I saw the profound effect this had on him and said “This is who you really are,” and I closed my eyes. He lifted his other hand and gently opened my eyes. Then I started crying a whole lot, and I suddenly felt like I was dying from my injuries and so I tried to make it to the hospital. I felt I was about to die and I closed my eyes and gave up. I saw this gold-red-yellow-blue-green and white – all at the same time – light coming down in front of me, but nothing happened.. Then I woke up.

I woke up as the sun was setting the following day, and I immediately felt some turbulence there. I decided to deal with all that was there so I firmly planted myself in bed and closed my eyes and just felt everything. The first feeling that came to me was this immense feeling of complete helplessness. Like absolutely nothing whatsoever mattered. I allowed it and embraced it and it changed into a feeling of such intense fear I felt completely paralyzed. Then I felt like I couldn’t hold on anymore, like there was no going back to the old ways. It was then I realized that this was all the feelings that I had covered up with anger before. Without the protection of the anger the feelings were free to come up, and I welcomed them with open arms. Then the feeling changed again into this shaky breath feeling that comes from having cried very intensely. I remembered having felt like that as a child, but not since. I faced that too with love and acceptance and decided it was time to have a little break.

When I got up I realized I had been lying there for 2 hours. I had a shower and sat down to check my email, and the first email I read was “I believe God wants you to know” from Neale Donald Walsch. It said:

On this day of your life, Martin, I believe God wants you to know…
..that just when it looks like life is falling apart, it may
be falling together for the first time.

I have learned to trust the process of life, and not so
much the outcome. Destinations have not nearly as
much value as journeys.

So maybe you should let things fall apart at this
juncture if that’s what’s happening. Don’t hang on so
tenaciously. The nice thing about things falling apart is
that you can pick up only the pieces that you want…

…and you know exactly why I told you this today…

Love, Your Friend….
Neale

This hit home so profoundly, and I realized that’s what was happening. I was stepping on uncharted grounds because I didn’t have my anger to protect me anymore, and it was okay. It is okay to let everything fall apart. As this dawned on me the tears came and streamed down my face. All the sorrow that I had never dared to feel before came, and it was okay.

This is such a contrast from where I have come from it’s almost indescribable. I used to come from a place of not wanting to feel anything at all. I prayed so hard to be rid of all my feelings, and now I welcome them with gratitude and love because I know that I am so blessed to be able to experience everything that I have experienced. This very experience that I have is completely unique to everything in existence, and I am previleged to be here right now to witness it.

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11:11:11.. Again?!

Posted in My path with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 3, 2009 by freedomofnow

The past week has certainly been interesting. I woke up on the 29th november, another 11:11:11 portal, feeling like complete crap. I had slept very uneasily, and my stomach was in severe pain. So I spent the first half of the day sitting on the toilet… Then when I finally had a break I had something to drink and then spent the rest of the evening, and night, kneeling over the toilet. Such a lovely night, emptying my bowels with 30 minute intervals. At some point I just lie down on the bathroom floor with a towel under my head and breathe while staring at the ceiling. Eventually around 4am I hadn’t had to “go” for an hour or so and I decided to take a leap of faith and go to bed. I brought a bucket to be sure, and water. Ah, precious water. I remember falling asleep and still feel my entire body vibrating with pain, like it was growing out of itself. Really weird feeling. My mouth would go dry every 5-10 minutes and I woke up to have a mouthful of water, turn over and go to sleep again only to wake up again after 5-10 minutes and repeat the process. After some hours I finally managed to sleep a continual 3 hour period and I woke up at 9am or so.. I had no intention of doing anything that day so I got my laptop, refilled my waterbottle and spent the day in bed. The day went by pretty quickly. I felt more grateful than anything to be done with what I had experienced the night before. I can honestly say that is the worst I have ever felt, and I’ve put myself through quite a lot of painful situations before. The night came and I fell asleep around 5 am. At last I slept through the entire night, and I didn’t wake up until half past 1 the day after.

I felt so rested, I woke up with a smile, my cats laying sprawled on the bed beside me. After some minutes I called Ingerid to see where they were, and we agreed that they pick me up in 30 minutes. It was satsang day, and I felt ready for whatever that would come. I had spoken to Maren the day before and I realized that I hadn’t let her go still. I decided to bring it up with Ingerid because I wanted to set her free. Set myself free. Ingerid responded that feeling love is a very good thing, it is only my mind that tells me that I shouldn’t feel love because it’s over and whatnot. It was very clear that she was right, and a sensation of gratitude arose in me. I was grateful for being able to feel love for someone else, and it felt ok. I felt this stinging pain in the back of my head and neck, and I asked her what it meant. She told me that it was “hard-necked” belief systems being released. Loving someone despite not being in a relationship with them, being able to give love to someone without having them return the favor. We then talked about the release that had been going on the past days and that it was a lower chakra cleaning, and Ingerid invited me to dive deep into them to go into what was there, so we talked about how I felt about my father. I was terrified to wrong him, because he had absolute total control over me. He could end my existence, and I fully believed that. Ingerid said that there was my vengeful god image, my father as I had placed as the rule of a vindictive god. I had been joyous and spontanous as a child, and it had often been met with 50/50 reactions of either laughter or anger. He would roar to get his will across, and everytime I felt so afraid I couldn’t move. Ingerid said that this is what happens when freedom and joy comes into the life of tyrants, it scares them. Then a sense of distance came up. I felt that I had to distance myself because I didn’t know if I was going to get a reaction of approval or anger from him. All my life I had taken a backseat to myself, and because I was so utterly terrified of my father, I did everything to please him. I even acted like him, because that’s how I finally got approval. All this from feelings that was now being released. Ingerid asked me where my mother was in all this, and I couldn’t see her. She just wasn’t there. I felt this white-hot glowing anger at my mother. I was angry with her for not standing up for me, for not being there when I was violated. That’s why I’ve never trusted women, and that’s why I’ve drawn all these unreliable women to me throughout my life. All the itching pain and emotions that were coming up felt like a flood, and yet I felt so calm and grateful at the same time.

After a while John came in with toast, and being that it was the first time I had eaten in 2 days I was very hungry but because my stomach was a bit rusty still I took my time eating. After a while both me and Ingerid noticed a dizziness, a sort of lightheadedness and heaviness in our bodies. She felt it very strong so we thought that she had taken in my energies. Some time went by and we all sort of disappeared, sat still and breathed for what seemed like hours. I asked Ingerid how she felt and if she was taking anything in, and she said that Mary Magdalene was there. It wasn’t the first time, in fact it was the third time that she had come to visit us when I was there for satsang. First she was speaking only to Ingerid for the first 30 minutes or so, then when Ingerid was given messages to share one of the first thing she addressed was our thinking that Ingerid was taking me in, which wasn’t the case.. At least not in the same sense as before. Mary then said that I didn’t need that help anymore, because I was so good at releasing by myself, which felt very humbling. She then adressed both John and me and talked about the intellect. She said that each intellect at each stage of its consciousness has a purpose. Nothing is “wasted.” So my understanding of this was that we need to embrace what we had done and learned with our intellect in the past and trust that because our hearts are now leading the way than whatever comes from the mind is inspired by the heart.

During the channeling I felt this incredibly warm feeling. This warm, loving embrace that didn’t care what the circumstances were. Everything was okay, everything was okay.. This maternal, unconditional love. It felt indescribable beyond what I have said here.

So much information was passed through by Mary that I can’t put it all here, but we all had a very exciting evening, and at the end of it we watched “The Game” with Michael Douglas. Extremely good movie, and so full of symbols. It really is beautiful. As John was driving me home after the movie he asked me what I thought the significance of Mary coming through so frequently while I was there for satsang. I tried long and hard to find an answer in me but eventually gave up. He said that it is of course she that brought the Christ, or one Christ to this earth, and so she is the symbol of purity. The fact that she is showing up around me means that I am “worthy.” Not that I’ve ever not been worthy other than the thoughts I have believed, but now the reflection was bang in my face stating that I AM, in fact, worthy. This is very profound, was John’s words. I felt the same.

After John had dropped me off I went to bed right away. I decided to bring my laptop to bed and I watched a movie and fell asleep. I woke up the day after as it was getting dark. I looked at the time and it was 4pm, so I decided to head to town to get some food. I was really hungry but the only thing that really appealed was salad, so I mixed some salad from the salad-bufet at the grocery store and headed home. The snow had finally reached the ground a few days earlier so I decided to walk instead, and it really was great to come out into the cold winter air. I came home, watched some tv and a friend paged me on skype and we started talking. She’s conscious in her ascension process so we talked about acceptance and control, and as I was typing it was suddenly so clear to me. Everything that we see in the outside world is merely the effect of the light that is already within us, so what is playing out is merely the “darkness” being pushed up by the light. It is already healed. The answer provokes the question, as Ingerid had said during our satsang the day before, it was all so clear to me now. That’s why acceptance is so important. A wave of calm came over me, and I felt completely content with the present moment. Everything that would want to find its way into my perception can do so, and I can accept it all in peace now.

A couple of minutes later I hear a gentle clank of metal hitting the floor. I looked down and found a norwegian 50 øring, or half a crown. It has a crown on one side, and immediately it struck me as incredibly important. I asked to be shown the meaning and as I was explaining what had happened to John it suddenly hit me that the Emperor of my life had relinquished his crown. The rule of control is over. John also pointed out that the number 50 is the number of the perfected man, 5 being man and 10 being Source. I told Ingerid what had happened and she laughed and said that I had just crowned myself, but in a totally different way. It symbolises that I am now confirming that I AM all that is, also abundance on all levels. I am not the one that controls abundance on all levels, because I AM abundance, and now it will show in all my manifestations.

I feel so in touch with my emotions.. With my presence. I feel like I am worth something for the first time in my life! I just love being right here, and right now. I realize my life is one of service, and I totally surrender to let Source flow through me to shower the world with abundance of love and joy.

The Sleeper Awakens part 1

Posted in My path with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 28, 2009 by freedomofnow

I haven’t written since february.. Wow, that’s a long time, and with so much that has happened, this is going to be a long one.

I guess I’ll start with what happened right after my last post. I had just realized I was pissed off at myself instead of at Maren for mirroring my own feelings towards myself, but I still feared her like I fear death. This is because what I really fear in her, or what I really experience in her is rejection from my mother. This happens in just about everyone’s life in some form or another, and it is when we first let go of who we are. We take the dramatic incident as ours, we identify with it, and think we are not worthy of love. But love is what we are. Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. The rejection was so terrifying for me, and along with my father in the picture, I have also taken a hatred towards women as my own, so that is what I am feeling right now. Hatred, and right below there lies the death of what I am not.

So some time later I started to talk to someone who had randomly added me to some social network I visit once every 3 months or so, and the connection was there right away. She lived in the states, and I was completely mesmerized by her. The feeling of being completely in love only lasted for a week or so, and during that time I realized that we fall in love to heal the wounds of our childhoods. It doesn’t sound very romantic, but not all relationships are meant to be forever. You cannot love another until you realize who you are. Until then, all relationships carry with them what you expect from others. The expectations and belief systems you have about the world is what will be brought to you in the relationships, and that is also what they are there to heal.

I am almost struggling to find the memory of what happens between then and now, because I am now in the present moment, and there is very little room for the worries of the past here. They only serve to shape what you expect of the future.. And thus actually shape your future.

Anyway, for about a month I had a relapse where I numbed myself out, distracted myself from the process, and played an online game that I hadn’t played for 5 years or whatnot. I felt the low energies in the place, and saw the people who had spent up to 50,000 hours online. That’s almost 5 years! I knew in myself I was stalling my growth. I didn’t have much contact with the outside world, and my attempts at being in touch with anyone turned out to be very dramatic at best.. Ingerid, being completely without ego, was the only one I really felt I could talk to, and she rarely – if ever – returned my calls. One night I got a hold of her, though, and she got a message straight from Source to me. Be wary of distractions. It couldn’t have been more clear, so I quit completely and continued to feel like shit all the time.

I decided to start seeing Ingerid as a patient to help heal the pain that I was carrying around, and in the beginning of april she told me that she would be able to have me start at the beginning of june. It felt like forever. 2 months! I knew that I had created this for myself, and that I was going to have to go through it myself.. I knew it all in my head, though, and the feelings that were there was completely different. Hate, impatience, fear, self loathing. The whole range of emotions that I had kept bottling up for all my life was now free to come back to me, and I could certainly feel it all.

At the beginning of may I had finally gotten the money I was supposed to have since november, and since I didn’t get them until may I had it backpayed too. I was very pleased with that, and with that an opportunity to reunite Ingerid with her twin flame arrived. John came, and suddenly there were 2 masters in my presence. My second conversation with John started a release in me that let me feel the peace of the present moment briefly, before it went away later that night to be replaced by the trauma of my past.

After a long wait june finally arrived, and it was time for my first session with Ingerid. When I arrived both Ingerid and John were sitting there. Ingerid had suggested over the phone earlier that we try something new, and so they were both going to do these sessions with me. John pointed out that I was the one who helped bring them together, and now I was the first one that they were going to have sessions – later called satsang – with. He then asked whether or not I thought this was coincidence? Needless to say I didn’t. It was still all in my head though. I had trained myself mentally into thinking what can be known from somewhere completely different. More about that later though. John explained that they saw me as a pioneer for this type of work that was going to be done, a lightworker. He then gave me the book “A Course in Miracles” that he had brought with him from Canada. Although my thoughts and feelings about myself didn’t exactly correspond with what he said, I found resonance in his words from deep within me. Someplace I hadn’t touched in what felt like forever.

Coincidences.

Posted in My path with tags , , , , , , , , on November 4, 2008 by freedomofnow

Since January this year, when I was healed and thus opened to the cosmic truths, I’ve been having a lot of strange things happen to me. Coincidental, the sceptic might say, though I like to call it fate. The cosmic chain of events that lead up to this moment, and into the next.

I have so many of these I could start a book about it, but for now I’m going to share at least one such event.

It all started 5 years ago, when Ingerid (my soulmate’s mother) and her current boyfriend were alone in their house, sleeping. At 5-6 o’clock in the morning, they woke to a child singing. A girl. She described it as a child who had just managed to get the tune right, and were singing proudly the song she had just learned.

Skipping to about 2.5 years ago, she had a dream where she held a baby girl in her arms, and she told me she had a very familiar feeling. So she asked her in her dream who the girl was, and she said “You already know, I’m Anna!”

Since then, Anna has manifested herself several times, doing various mischief in their house, such as locking the bathroom door from the inside, etc. Now, I reconnected with my Maren (my soulmate) the 25th september this year, over facebook, so this has happened completely parallel to my path.

Anyway, a few days ago Maren told me about the dream that her mother had had so long ago, and asked me if anyone in my family were named Anna, and that’s my mother’s maiden name! So I decided to check up on this, and called my mother to tell her. My mother, being my mother and all, was of course very happy to know that there is a grandchild coming in the future, but when I told her about the name, she said she was named after her grandmother. My great grandmother’s name was Anna!

When she said that, I immediately got a rush of warmth through my body, and I knew it was her. So I called Ingerid and told her about it, and she felt the truth in it aswell. Then I got Maren on the phone again, and we just had to laugh.. I mean, seriously? 5 years ago? I’m going to call my grandmother tomorrow and see if there’s a lullaby or something that she can remember and see if it rings true with Ingerid too. Although I’m pretty sure I won’t have to.

The thought crosses my mind: Is this even possible?

Then again, I stopped believing in coincidences a while ago.. But this is pretty mindboggling. The only place I can seek confirmation of this is in my heart, and things have never felt so right.

I’ve been running away from myself for my entire life. I stopped running a month ago, and now I’ve been blessed with the life I never even dared to dream of for myself.

If there’s any conclusion to this: Follow your heart, and your dreams will come true.

An awakening.

Posted in My path with tags , , , , , , on August 23, 2008 by freedomofnow


It’s been a while since I’ve written. I’ve had a lot on my mind. In retrospect, I realize it was for good reason.

How to begin? The last 3 weeks I’ve had some 20-25 minutes to spare every day going to and from work, so I’ve spent them meditating. It’s sort of lifted my spirits, work has gone better, and I’ve been generally in a better mood. Joking with people at work, etc.

Then last sunday things really got weird. It’s important to know that I recently re-connected with a friend I haven’t spoken to in a few years. Someone I only know from the internet, though the strength of the friendship has been as strong as any other, and we’ve had a lot of the same interests over the years.

I’ve also missed my mother a lot lately, so we’ve been speaking some over the phone. So this sunday I really open up to her and share with her my interpretation of my situation. That usually gets very “spiritual” when I talk with friends so I’ve only felt true about opening up to my healing mentor earlier, if anyone. Anyway, I tell her everything that’s been going on with me lately, and she understands everything from a spiritual point of view.

Karma has really been giving me the shaft lately when I was around certain people, and the last peak was my birthday. I had the most horrible day, which ended quite tragic (without going into further detail :p).. So I tell my mother everything for the first time in my life, and she acted so loving and supporting I was awestruck. I don’t think I’ve told my mother that I love her so many times in one phonecall and meant it every single time. Anyway, I told her that I felt like I was waiting for something, and she said “Perhaps what you wait for is not what you seek” and that strengthened the feeling even more. I remember telling her that I would be proud to be half the person she was.

With that feeling in me almost bringing me to tears I go down to talk to one of the people I live with currently that I’d had a huge fight with earlier. That is to say, I’m fucked financially right now, and living with a friend while being unable to pay the rent. Naturally she got very upset.
Anyway, we talk and she gets everything out in the open. Things that usually got me on the defensive didn’t even affect me, but the truth of her words and what she said went straight to the heart. I realized how I’d been acting, and saw everything for what it really was. I realize I had deserved everything.

We became friends again, as friends do, and I shared the talk I had had with my mother. While I was telling her I remembered that babies choose their mothers. I chose my mother for this life, and I have chosen her for all my lives before this one. That filled me with such a sense of humility and compassion I have never experienced before. The last time I remember this sense of extacy was either on extacy or in my early childhood. You know, when everything was new and exciting and you had no problems.

I sat on the sofa while the other people were moving stuff and watching tv, and suddenly I just fell into meditation. This one was REALLY heavy. Normally I see a light blue-ish or green hue or point with flashes of light. This one looked like northern lights. Violet flows of energy and brilliant white flashes. When I woke up I felt complete. I feel complete.

Anyway, about 11:30 that evening I logged on to find my newly reconnected friend going to bed. I scream at him to hold and tell him I’ve had an epiphany. That’s the only word possible to describe the true magnitude of the experience.
So he waits, and listens as a true friend. Then he drops the bomb on me. At the same time as I’ve been struggling with mine, he’s been dealing with the exact same hardships! EXACTLY! We’ve never met, but talked about it many many times, we’ve discovered healing (granted with a 4 year difference, but that’s the reason we haven’t met in person yet) on our own, and now we awaken to the conclusion of our emotional hardships at the same time.

This is beyond weird, but I’ve long since realized there are no coincidences.
Even as I wrote this I’m listening to the last part of the latest documentary that’s incited my interest.
The last part of it is describing what I think has happened to me. “The dark night of the soul.”

My last thoughts on this is that I’ve lived the last 1.5 years running myself in the ground. I’ve crushed my ego by gaining weight, existing in an incredibly destructive relationship. I’ve never given up, because I’ve felt like I didn’t have a choice. I had to do it. I used to be a manager at a phone company, and I gave up my leader position. I’ve stripped myself down to my bare soul, and what remains is only love. Love for everything, and everyone in existence.

I wrote a poem to my mother. I felt I had to get something written on this.
In all my lives
You were always there
Like an angel
Guarding me
Comforting me
Holding me
Inspiring me
Loving me
I owe you everything I was, am and always will be.
Mother.

I almost forgot! I was also at my healing mentor, and she said I had a tremendous block in my heart chakra. This was saturday. One day before all of this happened.. Anyway, she healed me for about 30 minutes. Then I healed her a bit, we had a joint and I went home later. My healing feels like a dense pulsing flow of energy usually. I visited her again on monday. We took her 2 dogs for a walk and visited her hotspot. Great energy point locally that physically vibrates. She used to tell me I couldn’t go until I was ready. So we were there. Incredibly humbling, and with the natural extacy ride I’m on I was literally extatic. :p

So I healed her later that night, and my energy flow has changed dramatically. She said she wasn’t sure how it felt because she could not determine where she ended and I began!
When I got home I tried a new healing trick with the friend I live with at the moment.

He sat on the couch and I was on the other side of a table, just asking for protection and guidance, and opening my arms wide. Immediately, my hands were on fire and I felt my right lung burn immensely. After just standing still for like 40 minutes and we were finished he said he felt better in his lungs. Particularly his right.

These are amazing times we live in. Having this experience is no less than miraculous, and every day since sunday I thank the universe for being alive.

For those who know me previously, no I’m not insane. I just realized what life is about. 🙂