Archive for in love

Eye of the Storm.

Posted in My path with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 3, 2009 by freedomofnow

Sooo.. Things are really stirring up these days. The things really started to affect me on halloween. It is also the day when the veil is said to be the thinnest between worlds, and of course it is, because we believe it to be. Very uneasy sleep, twisting and turning and no dreams pretty much sums up my last couple of days. Then yesterday it all started happening. The winds here are so extreme I felt as though I was going to blow away when I rode my bike to town yesterday. As I closed in on the store where I was about to shop I let go of the handlebar as I usually do, and suddenly the wind grabbed a hold of my bike. I felt the bike slip under me and a feeling like I had hit the ground face first and tasting my own blood arose. Without a single thought my hands went to the handlebar again and through what seemed a miracle the bike straightened up its angle and steering and I was safe. The bad feeling quickly subsided and was replaced by a profound sense of peace that I am beginning to be familiar with.

Later that night I had a visit from one of my enlightened friends, and we got talking about being completely free, letting go of all attachments. It seems even though I feel very free and detached there are still things being played out that keep me imprisoned in my own perception. John asked me “How far away would you like your cage-bars to be?” My answer came intuitively, “No cage at all.” John said that it is the same as being a little bit pregnant, not possible. You’re either free or not. There was a strong sensation that I wanted a partner for this life journey, and as we were talking about this a sensation of nervousnes, anxiety and tension arose, and at the same time a pleasant buzz.. I recognized it, because I had felt it so many times before. Every time I had the sensation of being in love, this had been there. There was a comforting sensation in it, and at the same time a sensation that all my efforts were leading nowhere. I realized that the comfort was my interpretation, and the feeling changed. It now felt like I was clawing at walls, frantically trying to get out. I realized that I wanted my freedom above anything else, and whatever pain could come.

I rested in complete acceptance of whatever came, and the feelings came and went through the night, along with stinging physical pains and burning in my stomach and throat. I went to bed around 1am, and woke up again while it was still dark. I tried checking my cell phone what time it was but it had loaded out completely even though I had charged it that morning. After a while I fell asleep again, and I had some very vivid dreams that night. When I woke up at 11 I had to get my charger so that I could write them down, then I slept until half past 1pm. All my cats were sprawled around the bed, sleeping aswell. Even though there was so much emotions going on there’s a deep sense of calm and completeness around everything.

So the full moon has come on the 2nd, and that is triggering its own cleanup of emotional blockage, then there’s the sixth night of the Maya starting on the 8th, aswell as the cosmic opening of the 11/11, which is a 11:11:11 portal. There are enormous energies at work to tear down the old and open up to the new, and I am definitely feeling it. The difference is that now it is okay. Everything is as it is supposed to be, and that’s okay.

Update: I just lost all my keys today. I’ll have to check the symbolism on that, along with the dream. They are definitely related.

Advertisements